Whatsapped!

June 16

12.00 AM

It was her birthday and I was in a dilemma if I should go wish her right then and make me look quite desperate, or wait and pretend I couldn’t care less.  But I haven’t seen her online in Facebook since a while. I was convincing myself there was no use rushing up. That’s when my Whatsapp buzzed.

“Did you wish her?” It was Fidal. Someone was really interested in my crush tales.

“Is she online?” For some reasons I couldn’t see her profile picture or last seen status on Whatsapp. What if she had blocked me, foreseeing the trouble I could produce? But hey! I didn’t even bothered her with a “hi” till now! To add to the pain, Fidal send me a screenshot to prove that he could see her profile picture. I rechecked her number. Not fair!

“Dude, I wished her.” Fidal teased.

“Is she online?”

“Yeah, wish her through SMS.” He encouraged me, but that would still be desperate.

“What’s she doing late night, ask her to go and sleep.” I was furious convinced that she had blocked me.

“Remember that post, somewhere someone is flirting with my future wife?” He reminded me of the meme where this troll face was laughing over this painful thought.

“:’(“

The crying smiley in Whatsapp is a bit exaggerated, but I was wounded nonetheless.

“Dude, it’s her birthday! Maybe that’s why she is online.” He consoled me.

I checked my blocked contacts list. It was empty except for this guy who kept on adding me to his annoying group every time I leave. I have been nice to people. God, I didn’t deserve this! That’s when I saw the privacy settings in Whatsapp. One could opt to show the profile only to the people in the contact list, or choose to completely turn it off. That must be it! I was relieved.

“Man, I think it’s just that she doesn’t have my contact. She would never block me!” I conceited.

“May your faith protect you!” He mocked. “Man, give it a shot.”

“Patience! Maybe tomorrow.” I still didn’t want to look desperate in front of her.

“Dude, you are hopeless.” He sighed (in my imagination). “This is the moment! Wish her before she sleeps.” He insisted.

“Okay!” I took a deep breathe.

“Good luck” He wished me with the smiley with stuck out tongue and a popped up eye.

12.50 AM

“Happy B’day! :D” I texted her. Time slowed, pressure raised.

“Dude she hasn’t replied yet.” I needed moral support from Fidal.

“She will. Probably a ‘Thanks bro’ ”. He reminded me of the worst case scenario.

I locked the screen, closed my eyes, and waited impatiently for the notification buzz. After a horrendously long wait, the screen lit up.

12.51 AM

“Thnk u…” She had replied with a blushing face smiley. “Paradon.. whu r u?” Again the blushing smiley. Her spellings were horrible. I was too excited to concentrate that I read her message ‘whr r u?’ Maybe she was too worried that I hadn’t decided on any firm for internship till the semester end. But I had to show my achievement to Fidal.

“Dude! It’s a goal!” I spammed him along with a screenshot.

He just sent back three ‘speak no evil’ monkey smileys.

“What are you waiting for? Go sleep man!” Now that I was through, I needed him no longer.

“Trivandrum. Regional Palnning Office.” I texted her. Excitement affected my texting too.

“Sorry, I didn’t get you.”

“Oh oops! Planning.” I corrected. “Wait! What?” What did she not understand?  I read the conversation again. Oh shit!

“Is this Muqthar ka?” I liked the sound of ‘ka’ at the end. I secretly wished that she would call me “ikka”. Meanwhile Fidal texted me that she had asked him whose number this was.

“Perfect.” I sent her a poker face. As I was typing that this was my Kerala number, she made another guess.

“Or Sruthi chechi?”

“This is my home number.”

“Still confused…” She was already sweating from what smileys conveyed.

“I thought you asked me ‘where are you’… It’s Muqthar here.” It was my turn at sweating smiley.

“Got it, sorry.” grinning smiley and laughing smiley followed.

“Fidal told me.” I accidently slipped out the information that Fidal was working as my agent.

“Sorry that I had to ask him, I was confused.” She apologized. (And later Fidal texted me that she had chided him for selling her away.)

“So, how’s your internship going” she changed the subject.

“Not bad, I will be helping in a master plan preparation.” I didn’t tell her I will be playing with ward wise population census figures in MS Excel and conjuring enigmatic bar graphs and pie charts.

“What about yours?” I had to pretend I was concerned. She had asked my advice on deciding firms to do her internship, though she considered none of my suggestions. “I don’t want to be away from home”, she had said, to the point that she discarded the one I had suggested for it was 20 minutes away from her home, and she instead went for the one 10 minutes close to her home.

“Mine is boring!” Well, what was she thinking when she choose Planning for her career?

“What kind of work?” I asked.

“Taking photostat…”

Buhaha! I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. What a perfect way to spend your holidays! This is what happens when you don’t listen to your elders’ advices.

“Who’s that baby in your DP? Cute baby!” She deviated the topic again. One advantage of uploading your baby niece’s photo for your profile picture is that you get much attention from your opposite sex.

“My niece.”

“Oh, I didn't know your sister was married” We were already discussing family. That was quick, but hey! I had already wasted two years on nothing.

“The eldest one is.”

“I thought you only had one sister.”

“How come you know ‘one’ of my sisters?”

“I have seen her commenting on your Facebook photos.” See. I wasn’t the only one stalking around.

The conversation went on about my family members and what they were doing, until she exclaimed “Omg! Big family.” Yeah, we needed a Whatsapp group to stay in touch. Since I had already met her family, it saved me some formality. Meanwhile I updated Fidal with the progress I had made. He warned me to play it slow, while taking the credit for it. I neglected his advice. He should be sleeping, it was 1.30 AM already! Wait! Why wasn’t ‘she’ asleep?  

“When do you sleep?” I asked her suspiciously.

“I usually sleep by 10. I woke up due to calls today.” She reasoned. Good girl, I told myself. (Later I checked the facts stalking her profile every night. She was last seen at 10.47 PM next day, but the following three days, she had turned off her last seen status at night and turned it on back by morning. Now, that is fishy. Very fishy!)

We bitched about faculties. She gave me tips on how to flatter them, how to smile at them like retard and act innocent, to get on their good side, as if I didn’t know. But recently, things haven’t been so smooth for me, for obvious reasons. But she was one of the class topper, what could she possibly hold against faculties? No matter how good you score, you still have to complain about them.

That is when my stomach betrayed me. My tummy and my mouth weren’t on good terms since few days. By the time I had settled them down and returned, she had went offline, leaving a ‘Gud nyt’ behind. I would like to reason that she got disheartened by my long silence.

It was 2.13 AM.

“Muqthareeee!” Fidal had some news for me.

“Dude, she slept!” I sighed.

“What did you expect?" Hmm... That she would keep me awake till Brazil's match begun. "Between, we were talking about you!”

It seemed he was teasing her with my name and he asked her why she wasn’t friendly with much guys including me. ‘Some guys are vicious by thoughts. But not Muqtharka. I know he is good, even my Papa told me. It’s you guys who are spoiling him.’ She had replied. He showed me the screenshots of their conversation. So, they have been talking about me at her home.

If I wasn’t staying at this paying guest sharing my room with a stranger, I would have danced around like a mad man and brought down the house. Now that I had a ‘good guy’ certificate from her dad, I was half way through.

But the biggest hurdle was still on. I had to win ‘he isn’t that good after all’ certificate from her. Man! Why didn’t her birthday happen earlier?