‘Desp’ness Revisited

Two roads diverged in wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that’s has made me pathetic…

My intelligence team has got reports that ‘her’ father has already started searching marriage alliances for her. I knew he was going to be a trouble maker, he got that looks.

For the Christmas break, I had the leisure of a cosy journey to home with my waiting list ticket combined with confirmed tickets of my friends in the West Coast Express, and for the first time, she was travelling with me, but in a different compartment… and yeah, I have managed again to completely ignore her presence. I was hoping I would bid her goodbye at Calicut, but that’s when her dad popped up, and I gave up my plan. And the journey would have been another disaster if the sleep wouldn’t have blessed me. Sleeping felt like fast forwarding the time, I slept as soon as we left Chennai, and before I woke up, I was breathing ‘Palakkad’ air.

Talking about her dad, he isn't as clean shaven as the Facebook pic would make you think he was. And If he wants her married by the time she completes the college, the chances that he will accept a ‘kid’ as his son in law or, more importantly, the chance my family would allow ‘the kid’ to marry his daughter are non-existent. And purely outside any selfish motives, but for her own best interests, I recommend that she do her Masters before she marries. After all, studying is fun, isn’t it? And I would be a kid no more. Not like that’s the only hurdle. There are two grown up ladies at home desperately waiting for their turn to get married…

And the other report says that likeliness of her liking me is most unlikely, that she needs someone bolder… I don’t understand the parameters by which she evaluates boldness, but I am convinced I wouldn’t top the results. I am definitely not feeling much optimistic these days…

Break time!

And the exam fever is on!

I still suffer from lack of concentration syndrome, so I was googling tricks to tackle it, and this blog said, after every topic you learn, reward yourself with a short break, so as to not get bored. So I did, after studying about Habermas's Public Sphere at 10 pm, with live discussion sessions with class mates on Facebook group messaging, which ultimately turned flop when people got excited and started putting up middle fingers and 'Despicable me' smileys, I took a break, opened YouTube, started with Aashiqui 2 songs, checked Facebook statuses in between, checked few short films, and few random music playlists, opened torrent to download movies meanwhile, since my data consumption rates were getting alarmingly low, 20 GB this month against 140GB a month ago, went back to YouTube and listened Agneepath songs over and over, and then checked the clock, and it was 3 am already! And my eyes were getting heavy, and I was in these middle position, if I sleep then, I will probably have a panic start next day, or if I stay up, it was least likely my brain would focus on to, nor will I be able to survive two hours in the exam hall.

My point is, my break needs a break, reward your break with a page of knowledge or something, and not the other way around.

Rohit and I have been singing to hindi karaokes lately, and since I am down with cold, and my nose is stuffed and all, I kinda sound smexy! :D

Semester-end Chaos

It's been a very busy week with reviews and juries coming up, faculties trying to finalize internal marks, endless assignments, and exam revisions.

And finally there are some pretty photos of her in her Facebook, thanks to her friend, that I can show my parents to present my case if situation progresses. I would often consolidate myself, pat myself on the back, advice myself to streamline my concentration and prioritize my goals, and,  then I would steal a peek at her, and I hallucinate. I had this dream of having lunch with her. She seemed all impatient at  my lack of guts, while a dumbstruck me was struggling in a dearth of words. But it was the best dream I had in a while. This must be the 6th dream I have had about her in the last 3 semesters.

I've developed this new habit of sleeping early, too early, like at 8 or 9, and then waking up at 5 in the morning for a fresh start. And then a short visit to all social networks, and then work...